Soundtrack of my Life: “Into The Mystic” by Van Morrison

Someone on the web, in some comments section somewhere, recently criticised Van Morrison as a singer. Limited range, nasal tone, the usual things said when someone hates a singer. Now, the guy wasn’t totally wrong on those points- Van is nasally, and does not have a huge range. But Van is an amazing songwriter, and as a storyteller he is in the upper levels of music history. And when I put on Moondance, I go to a very happy place.

“Into The Mystic” begins with the line “We were born before the wind” and from there, Van leads us down a path of spiritual connection. Over a faintly jazzy, very soothing melody, with gentle spanish guitar picking, And Van makes the connection between sex and the universe… sorry, mind wandered a bit.

Despite my rock hard outer shell that seems impenetrable to sentimentality and love, I am a soft, squishy romantic at my core, prone to crushes that last years (years… and years…). Actual Romantic Relationships cause me to have panic attacks. I am always afraid my anxiety-driven self will destroy all that is good about the man I care about.  He could make me smile and laugh, but I’m never sure what he wants and as always, being of anxious mind, I’m certain it isn’t me. But I can put on songs like “Into The Mystic” and pretend in my own stressed out, million miles a minute brain that someone, somewhere, makes me feel so completely at ease and at one with the universe. He might show up at the wrong time, the right time, sometime. I hope he exists. It might take me a while to come out of my shell, and I hope he’d have the patience and understanding that I sometimes do stupid things because I’m petrified of everything that is going on around me. I would certainly hope that this patience I can also tap into if his life were to become overwhelming, and I would hope I can be his support like he would need to be mine.

I imagine this patience is what romantic love is ( I have come to the conclusion that I have never, really, truly been in love, and that all my relationships up to this point have been driven by fear. Surprise!). I believe that love is like listening to Van Morrison saying he wants to rock your gypsy soul.

As someone with a gypsy soul, I look forward to it.


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